


Snow-One But You

by Bookoutbelow



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, POV Alternating, POV Multiple, Slow Burn, hiredboyfriend
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-11 16:06:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15319152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookoutbelow/pseuds/Bookoutbelow
Summary: Baz needs to get his father off his case about settling down with a girlfriend. Simon needs a job that can keep him off the streets. Baz goes looking online for a fake boyfriend and finds the website snow-onebutyou.com and does something he's certain he will regret.





	1. Baz Makes a Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first ever fic! Constructive criticism is always wanted. And also I'm sorry if this is trash

** Baz **

****

Baz wasn’t sure why he did it. 

 

He was just so sick of hearing his father drone on and on. “ _B_ _asilton you’re going to_ _have_ _to take over for_ _the_ _family one day_ _._ _” “Basilton_ _you’re_ _the last Grimm_ _-Pitch so what you do really matters”_

_“_ _Basilton you need_ _to be_ _thinking_ _about settling down with a wife and kids_ _._ _”_

Well, that one stopped him. 

 

“Father, I have zero intention of finding a wife.” Baz was slightly irritated, he has told his father multiple times that he was gay, but he knew that it was always better to skirt around the issue. 

 

“ _W_ _ell obviously_ _you’re_ _still_ _young Basilton,_ _but_ _there’s_ _no harm in looking now_ _._ _I ran into_ _The Wellbelove_ _s the_ _other_ _day, and_ _I_ _think it would be a good_ _match_ _between you and their daughter, Agatha_ _._ _A fine_ _match_ _indeed_ _._ _”_

Okay. Now Baz was past the  _slightly_  part of irritated. He was gay.  ** _GAY_**. But, he was still willing to tread lightly for his fathers sake. “Father, I’m sure Wellbelove is a charming lady, but that’s just it, I have no interest in charming a lady.”

 

His father stiffened a little. “ _W_ _ell how do_ _you_ _know_ _you don’t_ _like women? Have you ever actually been with one_ _._ _”_

Baz didn’t really see the need to bring up his complete failure in the dating department, but he could see that it was time to be a little more forceful. “Well, I’ve never been set on fire either, but I can tell you I really would find the whole situation of being burned rather unenjoyable.”

 

“ _It’s_ _not like you have a_ _boyfriend_ _so what harm could it do?”_

And that brought Baz to a full stop. Yes, it was true, he didn’t have a boyfriend. Sure, there had been some passing fancies, but nothing besides some playful flirting. Because the truth was, he had lied before. Baz wanted a love that would set his entire being on fire. A love that if the world were on fire, he wouldn’t even notice because he’d be stuck looking in the boy he loved eyes.

 

So Baz really doesn’t know why he did what he did. Why he made the stupidest mistake of his life, one he had no bloody idea how to fix. 

 

“Actually father, I do have a boyfriend.”


	2. Simon Makes a Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon needs a change in his life, and as always, Penny is there to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I definitely have a harder time writing Simon. I guess I don't relate to him as much? But I still enjoy how this came out. I won't always be updating twice a night, but more as the ideas come to me. I will try to keep it as a once a week minimum though.
> 
> Comments are still so appreciated! And thanks to all the nice feedback so far (:

 

 

** Simon **

****

Simon wasn’t sure why he did it. 

 

Nope. That was a lie. Simon knew exactly why he did it. 

 

He was just so sick of it all. His foster father (who might have been his real father, but that was just a confusing mess he really didn’t want to think about) had up and left him, and Simon was struggling to get up on his own two feet. The bills were piling up and he was  _so_ tired of eating ramen (seriously he would probably sell his pinky for a sour cherry scone). He was completely at a loss for what he should do next.

 

So he did what he always did when he wasn’t sure about something. He went to see Penny. 

 

When he got to Penny’s apartment, Penny opened the door quickly, her purple hair trying to escape the confines of the bun she currently had on top of her head. Simon wasted no time getting to his problems. 

 

“Penny, what am I going to do? I can’t live like this anymore, I just want to be able to know that tomorrow there will still be a roof over my head and my stomach will be full.”

 

“ _Well what would you like to do Simon? Surely you’ve had some thoughts about how you’d make a living now that you’ve grown up?_ ”

 

Actually, he hadn’t. He kinda just always had envisioned that he’d go on some grand adventure at some time in his life and be able to live happily ever after at the end of it. 

 

The panic must have been evident on his face. “ _There is no get rich quick scheme, Simon. You’re gonna have to find a real job, people aren’t just going to pay you to hang out with them.”_

“I really wish they would, Penn. I mean, I don’t have all that much going for me, except my charm and my freckles.”

 

Simon had meant it in a self-deprecating way but he swore it was almost like he could see the lightbulb go off above Penny’s head. It made him nervous. 

 

“I’m not selling my freckles or my body, Penn.”

 

_“_ _Of course not Simon, be serious_ _. But_ _there is something else you could do, you could be a companion_ _._ _”_

“Like Inara from Firefly? So...sell my body?” Simon really wasn’t keen on this idea. He understood that some were empowered by the idea, but it really wasn’t for him.

 

Penny rolled her eyes, she really wasn’t a very patient person. “ _Not at all. You’re just there when someone needs a date or a friend. You attend events, go on getaways. It’s perfect. Like you said, you really are kinda charming, you give off that whole Chosen One Golden Boy Hero vibe and honestly a lot of people would love you by their side. Plus you get to make all the rules. You get to choose, and I’m pretty sure you can make a ton of money fairly quickly._ ”

 

And that had been that. Penny made it seem like a dream. She got to work right away making him a website ([snow-onebutyou.com](http://snow-onebutyou.com/)), helped him draft a binding contract and he was set. 

 

It’s been a couple months, and Simon had to admit, he was happy. He’d been a companion on plenty of amazing dates, reunions, weddings, even a random rodeo; and he was loving it. He made a ton of money, shared some amazing memories, and at the end of the day he had a roof over his head, and fresh baked scones in his belly. Penny was right, this was perfect for him. He was a complete professional, at the end of the contracted term he bid the girl or guy goodbye and chose when he would do it all again. He finally felt like he had a calling. Maybe this was what he was chosen for. 

 

He was just sifting through his emails, choosing his next job, when one caught his eye. 

 

 

**T** **o:** **[simon@snow-onebutyou.com](mailto:simon@snow-onebutyou.com) **

**From:[tyrannus@grimm.com](mailto:tyrannus@grimm.com)** **  
**

**_M_** ** _r_ ** **_._** ** _Snow,_ **

****

**_I am interested in obtaining your services_ ** **_. I’m_ ** **** **_not_ ** **_sure what your standard contract is, but_ ** **_I_ ** **_would be in need of your services for an entire weekend at my estate_ ** **_._ ** **_I would be interested in meeting you in_ ** **_person_ ** **_to discuss some sort of formal arrangement_ ** **_._ ** **_Please respond if you believe we could work something out_ ** **_that would_ ** **_be beneficial to the both of us_ ** **_._ ** **_  
_ **

****

**_I look forward to hearing from you._ ** **** **_  
_ **

****

**_-_ ** **_Tyrann_** ** _us Basilton Grimm-Pitch_ **

****

Simon definitely snorted at that name, it was absolutely ridiculous. But he couldn’t deny, he was interested. He responded immediately. 


	3. The Coffee Shop (Baz)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baz completely loses his cool and finally gets to meet his "boyfriend"

** Baz **

 

Ever since he sent that email, Baz had been a mess. He was always a mess, that really was his thing, but now he was a mess with a date. 

 

Was it a date if you were paying the other person to be there? Baz really didn’t want to think about the semantics of it all. 

 

When the words that he had a boyfriend had slipped out to his father, he kind of hoped that would be the end of it all. But Baz was never really the lucky sort. 

 

Malcolm Grimm’s face had gone completely blank. “ _Well then. I’d like to meet him.”_

 

Baz instinct is to freak out a little. You want to meet my boyfriend? The male one? The one that is most definitely a guy and will never be my wife? But he doesn’t say any of that. Baz let none of his anxiety show. Instead, he rose one artfully arched eyebrow. “You do, do you?” is all he said.

 

Baz was pretty sure he could hear his fathers teeth grind together. “ _That’s what I said, isn’t it? If you’re serious enough about this boy to throw everything else away, your mother and I should get to meet him.”_

 

Baz almost had to physically restrain himself from rolling his eyes. He was most definitely not throwing everything away. Just because he was single, just because he was gay, did not mean he was throwing his life away. He had done everything his father had ever asked of him and then some.

 

And his mother? He loved Daphne, she was great. She softened his father a little and gave him Mordelia and his other siblings, but he’s pretty sure his actual mother wouldn’t give a damn about his sexuality. And even if she did, she would’ve handled the whole situation a lot more delicately.

 

“Alright, then. I’ll invite him to spend a weekend with us. But I’m not sure when that could be, he’s very busy.” Baz wasn’t sure where he was pulling this from. Remember the panic? It was behind the wheel now. He really hoped his father wouldn’t ask any follow-up questions. He was not in the right state of mind to create an entire backstory.

 

_“Make it soon Basilton.”_

 

That had been that. There was no argument; it wasn’t a suggestion but a command. Baz had raced to his laptop, put on his favorite (and slightly melodramatic) playlist, and immediately started searching. While “how to get a boyfriend immediately” led him to a Buzzfeed list on Sexting; and “I’m in a gay panic, please help me get my slightly homophobic father off my back” only led back to his own blog post he had embarrassingly written one day after drinking a little to much with Dev and Niall, he had finally found something with his final search. “Boyfriend for hire.”

 

The first couple pages were unsurprisingly hetero. Didn’t the heterosexual people get the entire spotlight? They apparently had to take all the fake relationships too. But then a website caught his eye. 

 

_[Snow-onebutyou.com](http://snow-onebutyou.com/) _

 

He had to admit, the tag line was a little cheesy. “I’ll make you feel like the sun.” Please. But Baz was desperate. “Snow” as that was the only name given, was a bisexual man, eighteen (same as Baz), and willing to be your “companion” for a price. Baz was certainly hoping that companion did not mean what he thought it did. He had seen Firefly, and he was not at all prepared for that kind of fake relationship. He hadn’t even had his first kiss yet for Crowley’s sake. There were no pictures, but Baz didn’t find that weird. In fact, he thought that whoever set up the website had to be fairly clever. With a job like this, you definitely wanted to keep your identity a secret. Maybe it was the cleverness, maybe it was the cheesy tag line, maybe it was that Baz was completely hopeless and wanted to be able to prove his father wrong. Whatever it was, Baz had sent an email almost immediately.

 

Now, a week later he was going to meet this Snow character. They had arranged to meet at a coffee shop to discuss a possible arrangement. Baz had put on a suit and slicked back his long dark hair. He may have been having a slight crisis, but he was a Pitch dammit and he was going to look damn good on the outside. 

 

He had been waiting for half an hour. Seriously? This Snow guy couldn’t just be on time? That wasn’t very professional. In fact, it sent Baz on a little bit of a tailspin. What if this guy had just seen Baz and decided it wasn’t worth all the money in the world? What if this was all Dev and Niall playing a prank on him. Baz had to work to keep a cool mask on his face, and the immense amount of sugar in is drink wasn’t really helping keep the jitters down.

 

Then the chime above the door rang. Baz looked up, and he suddenly understood the tag line. In through the door walked one of the most beautiful men Baz had ever seen. Medium height, a nice solid build, out of control bronze curls that Baz desperately wanted to touch. As the man walked towards him, Baz noticed his eyes. They were this completely ordinary blue, but as they lit up with a smile Baz realized there was really something extraordinary about the ordinary in this moment.

 

He reached out a hand and Baz saw moles freckling down the man in the cream colored sweater. He kind of wanted to kiss them. Wait no, that was ridiculous. He really needed to get a hold of himself.

 

The man reached out his hand, and said, _“Hi there, I’m Simon Snow.”_

 

No. The tag line was wrong. Simon Snow WAS the sun, and Baz may just be more fucked then he thought.


	4. The Contract (Simon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon (attempts) to hammer out the details.

** Simon **

 

Simon was really glad he had googled Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch prior to their meeting. Ty (as Simon was affectionately calling the boy in his head, as he could not control the laughter every time he thought or said his full name) was the heir to Grimm Enterprises, the leading PR firm in the nation. He was also an absolute babe. If Simon hadn’t done this preliminary research, he was pretty sure his jaw would have been on the floor the second he walked into the coffee shop.

 

Simon immediately spotted Ty, the dark-haired boy was all sharp angles and long lines. He was immaculately dressed in a dark suit, the blazer thrown over the back of his chair, sleeves rolled up to show off strong forearms, pants that perfectly hugged his—

 

But Simon was a professional and was definitely not thinking about this. It’s not like Simon hadn’t had extremely attractive clients before. He saw this morning that he had an email for a second contract with Agatha Wellbelove for a weekend event coming up. He was used to pretty faces, but apparently he still lacked much control over where his mind wanted to take the sight of the beautiful man in front of him.

 

He tried to keep his face casual as he strolled up and stuck out his hand.

 

“Hi there, I’m Simon Snow.”

 

His only response was a drastically arched eyebrow. It looked extremely cool, Simon was definitely going to have to try that later. After a minute with no response, he decided to keep going.

 

“And you must be Tyra-

 

“ _Baz.”_

“No, I’m Simon.”

 

At this he got a scoff that told him Baz thought he was dense. “ _Of course you are. I go by Baz. Short for Basilton?_ ”

 

Well, that made a lot more sense. Simon could feel himself grinning. “Alright then Baz, shall we have a seat and discuss our upcoming business arrangement?”

 

They took their seats and Simon noticed that Baz had already bought him a coffee. When he took a sip he nearly choked on the unholy amount of sugar.

 

“Um thanks, for the coffee?” He couldn’t help making it sound like a question. Was this even coffee at this point?

 

“ _It’s a pumpkin mocha-breve. My own creation._ ”

 

Simon casually set it aside. “So what can I do for you? Is there a Grimm Enterprises function you need a date for?”

 

While Baz’s face didn’t appear to show any signs that he was uncomfortable, Simon could swear he saw a gulp in his throat. “ _It’s actually a more personal affair. My father would like to meet my boyfriend._ ”

 

Simon doesn’t blanche. This isn’t the first time he’s had to play the role of significant other, he actually quite enjoys it. It’s a lot more fun to have to play the role of love-struck, rather than just a date. “Alright, then. I can do that. We’ll have to iron out some of the finer details, but why don’t you tell me about yourself first.”

 

_“Why do you need to know anything about me, Snow? This is a business deal, we don’t have to become bedmates.”_

 

Simon tries to do the one eyebrow raise he saw Baz perform earlier. Judging by the look of disgust on Baz’s face, he isn’t quite pulling it off. “If I’m to pretend to be your boyfriend, I am going to have to know you right? We would have spent some time talking and getting to know each other. It’s much more believable if I’m not surprised every time someone is introduced or tells a story about you. Start with something easy, tell me about your family.”

 

_“Well my father is the reason we’re doing this. He’s a business mogul, as I’m sure you know, and while I don’t think he’s homophobic, I think he thinks me being gay is just a phase he can push me out of with the right girl. Then there’s my sister Mordelia, who I am proud to say is growing up to be a little spitfire. I have no doubt she will take over tormenting my father if I ever decide to move out. My aunt Fiona is probably where we get our attitude from. She’s a hardass who never really grew out of her 90’s punk rock phase.”_

Simon can see the admiration that lights up Baz’s eyes when he talks about his sister and his aunt. It’s obvious he loves them in a way he doesn’t really love his father, or possibly even himself. “And your mother?”

 

Simon had assumed this was an easy question. But by the way Baz’s entire face shuts down, he knows he has made a mistake in asking.

 

_“That’s enough about my family. Why don’t we talk about those details and get on with it.”_

 

While Simon wants to press for more information, he can see that Baz is done talking to him. They go over the details, Baz needs him to come stay the weekend at their estate (seriously, he said estate; Simon is already wondering what the hell that could mean), where Simon will need to pretend that he is Baz’s boyfriend to his entire family. Baz will pay Simon’s standard fee, half up front, and half upon completion of the weekend; and of course a non-disclosure agreement will be signed.

 

“And I only allow for two romantic kisses a weekend. Obviously, there will pecks or kisses on the cheek here and there, but anything else will have to be renegotiated at the time.”

 

Baz practically sneers. “ _And what makes you think that I would want to kiss you, Snow.”_

“Obviously you don’t have to want to kiss me, although it will make it more believable, but we romance really drives it home. We will have to have at least one showstopper for them to believe we are a real couple. Especially since this is the first time they’ve heard of me.”

 

“ _Fine. Whatever. Will that be all?”_ Simon nods, a little shaken. “ _Good. I’ll pick you up on Friday at 5.”_

 

Baz practically storms out the door. Simon isn’t sure how it all went so terribly wrong, but it really seems that Baz wants nothing to do with him. Simon isn’t sure why this hurts so much, or why all he can think about is how to get that look of love back in Baz’s eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kind words and kudos! It really means so much to me.


End file.
